From the 2006 Reunion List:
Some Rants, Poetry and Prose of Hardy Breier
Part 1
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From: "HARDY BREIER" <HARDY3@...>
Date: Tue Mar 21, 2006 9:56 pm
Subject: VOODOO IN CZERNOWITZ.doc
HARDY3@...
VOODOO IN CZERNOWITZ.
The only level crossing we had in town was
Turkengasse
and Schulgasse . It was not ABK Frankfurt -Sud
or the
Birmingham Spaghetti but it was all we had. It
probably
dated back to the Turkish times.
As Turkengasse was very steep it was our
preferred place
for " rodeln " - tobogganing.
One winter day as I was coming
down Turkengasse at
the breathtaking speed of 15mph, I came under
the horses
of an ascending wagon.
The injuries were not serious but I lost
conscience for
a short time . My mother panicked and alerted
her mother:
Die groisse Babe.
My maternal grandmother ,die
groisse Babe, was an institution.
She was a widow, married more than
once, produced 10 offsprings
of which only 3 survived, and was
a financial wizard.
She was also the
family expert on witchcraft.
My case was a simple one and ,
after a short consultation, it was
decided on "upschprechen" , meaning as
much as to talk the bad
spirits out of me and redirect them to
other , more befit targets.
There was also " giessen in Wachs " and
" leschen Koilen" and more.
Groisse Babe sat by my
bed ,arranged the magic stones before
her and started the magic chant:
" Drei Weiber sitzen af a
Stein,
eine sugt
jo , eine sugt nein,
eine sugt
fin wi se's gekimen ahin soll es gein"
Then the stones were thrown
over the shoulder in quick succession.
Did it do any good
? Well ,it didn't harm anybody...
Who
says that Voodoo comes from Jamaica ?
hardy
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From: "HARDY BREIER" <HARDY3@...>
Date: Sat Feb 25, 2006 10:04 am
Subject: CZERNOWITZER ALLER LAENDER
VEREINIGT EUCH!
HARDY3@...
BlankCZERNOWITZER ALLER LAENDER, VEREINIGT EUCH !
WOHIN STROEMT DAS VOLK , WOHIN WAELZT DIE MASSE ?
NACH CZERNOWITZ ZUR DREIFALTIGKEITSGASSE.
DORT NIMMT DAS JAEHRLICHE TREFFEN STATT
DER JUDEN , DIE EINST GELEBT IN DER STADT.
DER BURGOMEISTER DER JETZO AMTIERT IM ORT,
TRETET AUFS PODIUM UND NIMMT DAS WORT:
" LIEBE BRUEDER UND SCHWESTER , OHNE ZU SCHERZEN,
SEID MIR GEGRUESST VOM GANZEN HERZEN!
WIE IHR WISST , IST DIE STADT SEIT IHREN ABKOMMEN,
SOZIO- OEKONOMISCH SEHR VERKOMMEN ,
DRUM LADE ICH EUCH EIN, KOMMET ZURUECK !
UND LEBET HIER IN FROHSINN UND GLUECK
KOMMET AERZTE ,KUENSTLER UND DICHTER,
WIE JOSEPH SCHMIDT, CELAN UND RICHTER,
BRINGET EUERE FAEHIGKEITEN UND EUER GELD,
WIR MACHEN DIE STADT DIE BESTE DER WELT!
UND DIE STADT WIRD JEDEN DER KOMMT HIER ZU WOHNEN,
IHRERSEITS REICHLICH BELOHNEN:
JEDERMAN DER IN DIE STADT RETOURNIERT
WIRD BEI DER STRASSENBAHN KOSTENLOS ABONNIERT "
JANKEL DER DIES HAT VERNOMMEN
IST SEINERSEITS SEHR BEKLOMMEN
ER SCHUETTELT DEN KOPF UND SAGT : OHO!
UND FAEHRT ZURUCK NACH AMERIKO....
HARDY 2006
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From: "HARDY BREIER" <HARDY3@...>
Date: Sun Mar 19, 2006 9:49 pm
Subject: POOR AMERICANS.doc
HARDY3@...
POOR AMERICANS.
In June 1942 Rumania declared war on America.
The grocer, of corner Armenergasse, reading the morning paper shook his
head
and said : " Poor Americans , don't they have enough trouble , what did
they
need this for.poor devils."
Some patriots were already planning the big Rumanian
victory parade marching down 5-th Avenue.
There was only one small problem they had to overcome before this:
" The Rumanian Army had no boots ! "
They could manage uppers- but soles were not available.
Now it must be said that many of the rural population didn't
wear shoes , they wore something called "opinci" a lambskin
tied around the foot.
But an Army must march on boots !
The Rumanians came up with a makeshift solution : wooden soles !
When a Rumanian company, wearing hybrid clogs , came marching down
the street, you could hear them from far away.
Imagine a recoinnassance platoon on a night mission
behind enemy lines wearing clogs..
But this was 1942 and the Rumanians were victorious.
But then came Stalingrad.
Then came 1943 and the Americans bombed Ploesti.
Some Rumanians started having doubts if they'll ever
parade on 5-th
Avenue, after all..
hardy
-------------------------------------------
From Mimi...
During the war, we were not allowed to have short wave radios.
My uncle did have one, the various parts being hidden in different
places.
Once every few days, the radio was reassembled and the whole family
listened
to the BBC. This way, my father knew about the fall of Stalingrad long
before it was announced on Romanian radio. In an incautious moment, he
told
the new Romanian owner of our factory, about the defeat of the German
army.
The Romanian did not believe him, but many days later, when the fall of
Stalingrad was announced on Romanian radio, he said: Cum se poate?
Jidani
intotdeauna stiu tot! (How is it possible? The Yids always know
everything!)
Would it were true!
Mimi
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From: "HARDY BREIER" <HARDY3@...>
Date: Sun Feb 26, 2006 8:44 pm
Subject: DIE WACHT AM PRUT
HARDY3@...
TO YOU ALL:
DIE WACHT AM PRUT.
Es braust ein Ruf wie Donnerhall,
Und Schoifers hoert man ueberall,
Zum Prut, zum Prut kommt gross und klein,
Wer will des Flusses Shoimer sein.
Lieb Czernowitz, am Tag und Nacht,
Fest steht und treu am Prut die Wacht,
Die Wacht am Prut....
HARDY
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From: "HARDY BREIER" <HARDY3@...>
Date: Wed Mar 29, 2006 8:43 pm
Subject: TROUBADOURS.doc
HARDY3@...
TROUBADOURS
THEY USUALLY APPEARED AROUND NOON .
WE HEARD THEM PERFORMING IN NEIGHBORING
HOUSES ANDRAN HOME TO PREPARE THE PENNIES
WRAPPED IN PAPER. THESE WE THREW DOWN FROM
WINDOWS AND BALCONIES FOR THEM TO COLLECT.
THE MENDICANT STREET SINGERS.
THEY WERE CLAD IN RAGS AND SOME WHERE BODILY HANDICAPPED.
SOME WERE MENTALLYRETARDED.
ALL HAD GREAT VOICES AND SANG SOLO.
THE SONGS THEY WERE SINGING ( I CANNOT RECALL ALL) WERE
ALL RELATED TOTHEIR CONDITION AND DEPLORING THEIR BAD FATE.
HERE IS ONE:
" ZI BIN ICH FIN A STEIN GEBOIREN,
ZI HOT MICH KEIN MAME NISHT GEHAT?"
NO, MAC, YOU WERE NOT BORN OF A STONE AND YOU HAD A MUMMY
ALRIGHT,
BUT YOU WERE BORN ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACK
AND PAPY WAS A THEORETICAL EXPRESSION..
ONE , SHMOYGER , HAD A TRAGIC VOICE WORTHY OF THE SCALA AND I COULD
IMAGINE HIM DOING THE " VESTI LA GIUBBA" WITH GREAT SUCCESS.
AND THEN CAME THE ICE CREAM VENDORS SHOUTING: "LODY,LODY..
TURNING THE BIG HANDLES OF THEIR MACHINES.
SOMEBODY WAS SELLING MOST -THE LOCAL APPLE CIDER.
AND THE OLD CHESTNUT TREE WAS FULL OF MAIKAEFER..
AND THE SUN WAS BEAUTIFUL AND SPRING WAS EVERYWHERE..
DO YOU REMEMBER?
I DO
HARDY
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From: "HARDY BREIER" <HARDY3@...>
Date: Thu Feb 23, 2006 8:57 pm
Subject: FAQ
HARDY3@...
HI GROUP,
HERE ARE A FEW ANSWERS TO RELEVANT QUESTIONS:
Q: WHY DID JEWS LEAVE CZERNOWITZ?
A: BECAUSE OF HITLER .
1. THE HOLOCAUST
2. DUE TO THE MOLOTOW- RIBENTROP TREATY CZ.
FELL UNDER THE IRON CURTAIN
3. THE CREATION OF ISRAEL.
Q: WHY DO OLD CZERNOWITZERS GO BACK TO THEIR HOME TOWN?
A: THE SALMON INSTINCT . WHEN THE TIME COMES
THE SALMON RETURNS TO HIS NATIVE WATERS.
SO DO CZERNOWITZERS.
Q.: WHY ARE CZERNOWITZERS CONSIDERED TO BE SNOBS AND BIGOTS?
A: THEY ARE NOT ONLY CONSIDERED- THEY REALLY ARE:
AN ORIGINAL FULL BLOODED CZERNOWITZER
HATES:
RUSSIANS "FONYE GANEV "
UKRAINIANS "HAUSMEISTERS AND
HUTZULS"
RUMANIANS
POLES
JEWS -NOT BELONGING TO HIS SOCIAL CLASS
( YIDDISH SPEAKERS).
JEWS - OF HIS SOCIAL CLASS BUT
ORIGINATING FROM THE LOWER
CLASSES ( JUDENGASSE , MORARIOGASSE,
AROUND THE "HAM").
HIMSELF-FOR BEING WHAT HE IS!
Q: WHY ARE CZERNOWITZER CONSIDERED TO BE GENIUSES?
A: BECAUSE THEY REALLY ARE. THIS IS A FACT!
SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE GENES AND OTHER
SMALL PARTICLES
I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT...
Q: WHY ARE CZERNOWITZER LIKED AND LOVED BY EVERYBODY?
A: THE PANNEL DID NOT GET THIS RIGHT ..... PLEASE REPEAT...
HARDY
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From: "HARDY BREIER" <HARDY3@...>
Date: Mon Apr 3, 2006 5:30 am
Subject: MACH DICH KLEIN.doc
HARDY3@...
MACH DICH KLEIN.
CZERNOWITZ HAD A BUS SERVICE JOINING IT TO ITS
SUBURBS AND I REMEMBER USING IT VERY RARELY AS
WE HAD NO DEALINGS OUT OF TOWN.
I WAS THEN OVER 5 YEARS OLD AND NO LONGER ELLIGIBLE
FOR FREE RIDES AND I REMEMBER THAT WHEN WE TOOK A
BUS MY MOTHER USED TO TELL ME : " MACH DICH KLEIN
"TO AVOID THE FARE .
HOW OLD WAS I BY THEN ? I 'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU SO
YOU'LL
NOT TELL AND GIVE ME AWAY TO THE CONDUCTOR!
HOW DID I MAKE MYSELF " KLEIN " ? IF YOU BEND YOUR KNEES YOU
ARE IMMEDIATELY ONE INCH SHORTER. I ALSO MADE A SAD FACE ,
THIS I BELIEVED ALSO MADE ME "KLEIN".
THEN CAME TIMES WHEN ALL OF US WISHED WE WERE " KLEIN"
VERY "KLEIN" , THE SIZE OF A MOUSE SO WE COULD HIDE IN A
MOUSE- HOLE , OF WHICH OUR TOWN HAD PLENTY.
IN JANUARY 1942 WE GOT OUR POPOVICI PERMIT TO LEAVE
THE GHETTO AND BYSOME MISTAKE MY NAME WAS
OMITTED.
THERE WAS NO TIME TO LOOSE AS MAYOR POPOVICI , WHO HELPED
THE JEWS , WAS OUSTED AND REPLACED BY GENERAL CALOTESCU,
AND ALL POPOVICI PERMITS WERE YO BE ANNULLED IN A DAY OR SO.
SO WE PUT ALL OUR PROPERTY ON A CARRIAGE AND IN THE LAST BOX,
HALF FULL WITH POTS AND PANS THERE WAS SOME SPACE LEFT.
" IN YOU GO " SAID MOTHER . THE BOX WAS SMALL AND I WAS BIG
AND
TIME WAS PRESSING.
MY MOTHER SAID : " MACH DICH KLEIN " .
HARDY
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From: "HARDY BREIER" <HARDY3@...>
Date: Wed Mar 15, 2006 9:44 pm
Subject: REMEMBER.doc
HARDY3@...
REMEMBER:
CHEREMOSH HOTEL IS
NOT WALDORF ASTORIA
CZERNOWITZ
IS NOT LAS VEGAS
THE
RINGPLATZ
IS NOT
PLACE CONCORDE
RATHAUSGASSE
IS NOT FIFTH
AVENUE
KUTSCHUMARA STR IS
NOT INTERSTATE 80
TZETZINA
IS NOT THE MATTERHORN
UKRAINA
IS NOT
SCHWEIZ
THE
PRUT
IS NOT THE MISSISSIPPI
AND
YOU
ARE NOT SUPERMAN
HARDY
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